As a NH fine art photographer, I created this deeply personal body of work called Terminal, I am reflecting on my mother’s death in 2015 at the age of 63, 30 days after her pancreatic cancer diagnosis. At times, I am still unexpectedly gripped by some of these emotions. These digital multimedia portrait pieces explore my own bereavement.  The process is not linear, and the Kubler-Ross model of the Five Stages of Grief does not have a prescribed beginning and end, so the images follow no particular order.

I’ve incorporated photographs of selections from Kubler-Ross’s book “On Grief and Grieving” addressing the different stages of grief.

The snow represents stillness, solitude, winter, rest, and solemnity. It is also when my mom was dying, and I was processing.

The mood here is solemn and reverent, so the monochromatic color palette reflects this quiet sensibility.

My subject is wearing black (as at a funeral) and in some cases, my mother’s shawl.

It was important for me to photograph my subject with a very shallow depth of field to give the images a dreamy, almost surreal sensibility.  My mother was very connected to her own dreams and shows up regularly in my own.

The black birds also have significance. My mother identified with crone energy and felt a connection to those birds. I associate black birds deeply with her.  They represent death and change.  The ravens photographed for Terminal are a bonded pair currently residing at VINS.

In Bargaining, the subject is holding spent lily stalks I collected from my property in the fall when the flowers and the foliage fell away. The dead lily stalks represent a (futile) offering in the “bargaining” stage of bereavement.  Incorporating natural and (significantly) temporary elements is central to my work and belief in the fleeting nature of all living things. I’ve also layered some images of dead weeds, shrubs, and trees into some of the images.

In Anger, I’ve incorporated an image I took in 2018 of the Italian village that my mother’s people were from.

In Denial, I was inspired by the 8 of Swords tarot card where the subject is bound and blindfolded, as a homage to my mother’s skill in tarot card reading.

I am drawn to dark surrealism and was able to explore that in this body of work. The natural world and its profoundly temporary nature is also central to this work.  Hence the use of elements from nature.

Behind the scenes shooting of ‘TERMINAL” Many thanks to Courtney Cania Photography for capturing these moments!

Behind the scenes editing in the studio of “Terminal”

Firefly Photography is happily booking portrait photography sessions in Keene, NH, Woodstock, VT, Hanover NH, Seacoast, and Upper Valley for dreamy maternity, and child, couples, senior, & family portrait photography.

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